Why people come to us for prayer?
People often think we do counseling. There might be some advice after prayer ministry, to better process the ministry experience, but we do not do counseling.
I make this point because people want us to fix things. But folks are not used to God “fixing things.” His ways are different, then is typically common in counseling.
For example a couple may come to us, and one is frustrated with the other’s lack of communication, or with their constant criticalness, or any number of typical marriage problems. She might tell us to fix him. Or he might say she needs to be more positive, and we should help her with that. Another person might come because they have an addiction, and want help getting free from that.
As a prayer minister we realize that when we cannot forgive, or let go of some kind of negative emotion, or quirky habit, or sin problem, it is usually tapping into some other life experience that makes it hard to change or move on. The life experiences that I am talking about are emotional experiences. These are things which our heart has been impacted by. Trauma can impact the heart at anytime and at any age. But early childhood in particular is when we are the most vulnerable. This is because before 7 or 8, we don’t think with our minds very much. We mostly think with our hearts. Science is showing us that our physical heart region anatomically is like a little brain. Hundreds of thousands of brain thinking cells function to communicate things to all parts of our human body, as well as to the brain. Some scientists also have discovered that the heart is the originator of all human reactions and responses, and the brain is a secondary function.
Why is this important? In childhood we get hurt, either accidentally or intentionally by someone. We don’t get over it easily, because the mind and maturity has not taught us how to get past it. Sometimes loving adults can help us emotionally process it to a happy outcome. Unfortunately, what usually happens is we have a negative heart reaction to it. Our heart records this reaction through its own memory function and includes the brain in this as time goes on. Though the brain forgets all these countless experiences, the heart never forgets. Another option is to stuff all these painful experiences, and consequently, people often do not remember their childhood. More and more the mind takes over, and learns to function in a sometimes difficult world and with difficult people.
The heart never forgets, and stores all of its pain and sinful reactions. I use the word sin, even though one might think a little 4 year old cannot rationally make sinful decisions. That may be true but the heart certainly can. Because this reaction is an emotional one, it is often irrational. So for example, if Mommy asks Johnny, did you steal a cookie from the cookie jar, he answers truthfully from his honest heart. But to his dismay, Mom punishes him or humiliates him or yells at him or criticizes him. He feels hurt…I didn’t try to disappoint you. Mom punishes harshly, and he feels it is unfair. She doesn’t seem to care what he has to say. His pain now turns to resentment. His little heart begins to grow angry and bitter toward mom. If this happens often enough his “heart” may tell him don’t share things with her because that will cause pain. He may dishonor her in other ways, declaring I hate you, and I don’t want you to be my mother.
Over time he moves on and forgets the incident, but the heart continues to believe the woman is dangerous and unfair and will criticize. He may tolerate Mom or be mostly civil, but his relationship with her is forever changed, by his heart reaction. He doesn’t share much with her. Then he gets married, and this same old heart reaction prevents him from feeling safe with his wife, and he chooses not to talk. Do you see then the reason why his wife struggles, because he will not share deeply? He may try to communicate, but it is with great difficulty. He loves his wife and wants to change but cannot. His heart is in charge. But he does not realize it is his heart calling the shots.
As prayer ministers we realize that everyone who comes to us has these early childhood things, buried in their heart. But they are not hidden. Hebrews 12:15 talks about these things springing up within us and defiling many. Jesus said that out of the heart comes all sorts of wicked thoughts and behavior (Matt15:19).
Counselors would try to help people correct their bad behavior, develop better habits, and even “biblically”, put others first. That is hard work. Typically permanent change is seldom the outcome. We with the understanding that things have roots, choose not to address the current problem. It is real and it is important! But our approach is to remove the root in the heart. We know that heart change will result in new behavior. So our approach is indirect. We have seen hundreds of people; see their lives transformed, by removing the heart’s reaction to life’s hurts. Jesus heals the wounded heart, and change becomes permanent.
So we desire the same result, as the person who comes to us for prayer. We want their current problem to go away. But prayer ministry is Holy Spirit driven. No one but the Holy Spirit knows what childhood circumstances, have led to that current negative emotion or bad fruit. I use the plural word circumstances, because there may be more than one emotional childhood issue that is fueling the present problem. So we invite the Holy Spirit to lead us. As trained prayer ministers we are equipped to follow the Holy Spirit to these roots. We have many keys to bring sanctification and transformation to the person who comes. Still we cannot tell God what to do. That would put us in charge. People are very complicated and one shoe does not fit everyone. We don’t use formulas because that would assume too much. Our own experience is formulas can rewound people, and miss there very unique heart and personality. The Holy Spirit is gentle and does it perfectly, and knows which layer to lift off first. If for example one has an addiction to pornography, there may be 5 or 6 different things fueling that propensity.
We are patient, and urge our clients to relax and let the process go as it goes. There will be good fruit eventually. Furthermore, even with thorny difficult things, like anger problems or addictions etc. change comes, after ministry, without a lot of effort. We may still have to develop a new habit, but there is a wind at our back, and results come more easily. Before it seemed we were climbing a steep hill, to get the change we want. Now we walk on level ground to new freedom.
Prayer ministry is confidential and private. I share stories in my teachings to illustrate this process, but it is not without their permission. I have been prayed with dozens of times, and so I can personally testify to great changes in some pretty besetting problems, as well as just annoying habits.